Eating issues and Competitions

[Noel Clark]

Yes, this can be a very sensitive topic, but do you think that those that have had or do have food issues should compete?

I bring this up due to other threads going on as well as there is such a focus on food while dieting down for a show, I was wondering what others thought of that for ppl with food issues.

[Inatic]

Food issues/eating disorders?

Not sure this question is just for competitors?

If someone has food issues/disorders, dont/or should they need to over come first? Would being restrictive cause or exaggerate them?

[Noel Clark]

yes either.

But the thing is Ileen, I see a quite a few with food issues...not nec full blown Bulemia or Anorexia but issues with food and they compete.

The reason I say compete is because of the level of leanness that you have to achieve.

[soontobefit]

Yes, this can be a very sensitive topic, but do you think that those that have had or do have food issues should compete?

I bring this up due to other threads going on as well as there is such a focus on food while dieting down for a show, I was wondering what others thought of that for ppl with food issues.

My food issues were much larger than they currently are (astronomically more so.) I used to eat full large pizzas several times a week, large bags a chips and felt bad if I didn't eat that way. Now my food issues are much smaller in that I like to have cheat meals that are maybe a little bigger than I should. But as of late (within the past couple of weeks) I have noticed those issues are getting less since I am appreciated the fruits of my non-overindulgence. Plus, my stomach can't take as much volume anymore! All that to say, I believe that people can overcome food issues. Maybe not 100%, but mostly. I would like to think that one day I will be able to compete and food will not be an issue since my body will rock! :lol:

JMO

[Inatic]

yes either.

But the thing is Ileen, I see a quite a few with food issues...not nec full blown Bulemia or Anorexia but issues with food and they compete.

The reason I say compete is because of the level of leanness that you have to achieve.

i think that it might be very individual. Some people rise to the challenge, others still have some work to do. Tho they might not find that out till they try. Individauls with those issues will have to be realistic with their goals and themselves.

Progress is motiving. 'You' might not make the moon but if you land on the stars, not so bad.

[soontobefit]

i Progress is motiving. 'You' might not make the moon but if you land on the stars, not so bad.That sounds familiar...;)

[Patricia]

Competing made mine worse, yes.
But, being in my first bulk and technically being able to eat what I want, I haven't had a problem going overboard or eating crap.
It's when I have the strict diet with cheats that I go overboard.

[Ali]

:lol:

Do I think those with food issues should compete? I think it depends.

I have binged...and same as Patricia, it comes when I have strict dieting and then cheats or refeeds. That little bit of freedom makes me go. :shakeithappy: That, and that primal drive for food seems just too much. It's ok when it's supressed, but let it go, and :eh:

Anyway, my issues are more about feeling bad after I eat something that I shouldn't. More guilt related than the actual eating itself. IOW, I have never eaten a whole pizza. But, I've eaten some pizza, some chocolate, and 5 packages of fruit snacks, and then felt like entire crap for doing so...get pissed at everyone and just feel really BAD.

A lot of that mindset...the feeling bad comes from trying to diet, and then not being able to hold myself accountable. With the competitions, I didn't have that much trouble. Maybe 2 refeeds or something...but no resulting damage.

So...should I compete...should I diet? Dunno...trying to come to some sort of conclusion there.

[Visionquester]

For me the dieting caused the food issues. I had never been so obsessed with food that I locked myself in a home office (as to not be disturbed) while I ate and simutaneously watched Food Network. When I read the "Effects of Semi Starvation", an article that summarizes the famous study referenced in the book, "Intuitive Eating"
http://www.possibility.com/epowiki/Wiki.jsp?page=EffectsOfSemiStarvation , I finally quit feeling like a loser for my diet failures. If Quakers can experience the same behaviors as me under similar conditions, then that makes me completely normal. (ok somewhat normal)

The only other time I had binges is when cutting weight for wrestling 15 years ago. (I never ate a whole pizza either but I did have a quite a few tortillas and cereal)

~C.

btw: I won't be competing again. I need to stick with sports that don't require dieting...... hockey anyone????

Oh and one more goodie: A girl posted this link on my blog and I am pretty sure I did all of the no no's mentioned. http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/drryan30.htm

[Patricia]

~C.

btw: I won't be competing again. I need to stick with sports that don't require dieting...... hockey anyone????

You have an incredible physique Cynthia! It would be a shame to see you hang up your heels. ;)

But, why kill yourself dieting and cardioing when your heart's not in it, right?
:)

[Noel Clark]

Hopefully you guys know that this is directed at NO one in particular. I just think it is a relevant question. When you are lean and hungry and have to focus on exactly how much your are eating...:shrug: I would think it might make disordered eating so much worse. Just wanted to see what others thought.

[Visionquester]

You have an incredible physique Cynthia! It would be a shame to see you hang up your heels. ;)
:)

Correction: had

[Patricia]

Hopefully you guys know that this is directed at NO one in particular. I just think it is a relevant question. When you are lean and hungry and have to focus on exactly how much your are eating...:shrug: I would think it might make disordered eating so much worse. Just wanted to see what others thought.

I didn't think it was. :)

And, it is a very good topic. I know first hand of a few Pro FBBs that have trouble with binge eating as well.

[Noel Clark]

Competing made mine worse, yes.
But, being in my first bulk and technically being able to eat what I want, I haven't had a problem going overboard or eating crap.
It's when I have the strict diet with cheats that I go overboard.

So this is something that you have dealt with prior to competition dieting? Now that you are bulking and finding it a bit easier...do you think those same problems will arise when you diet back down?

[Noel Clark]

For me the dieting caused the food issues. I had never been so obsessed with food that I locked myself in a home office (as to not be disturbed) while I ate and simutaneously watched Food Network. When I read the "Effects of Semi Starvation", an article that summarizes the famous study referenced in the book, "Intuitive Eating", I finally quit feeling like a loser for my diet failures. If Quakers can experience the same behaviors as me under similar conditions, then that makes me completely normal. (ok somewhat normal)

The only other time I had binges is when cutting weight for wrestling 15 years ago. (I never ate a whole pizza either but I did have a quite a few tortillas and cereal)

~C.

btw: I won't be competing again. I need to stick with sports that don't require dieting...... hockey anyone????


How many shows did you do?

[Ana]

Every time I think I know what I want, doubt gets thrown at me :(
Now I don't know.

[Erik]

:zipit:

[Erik]

Every time I think I know what I want, doubt gets thrown at me :(
Now I don't know.

Meaning?

[jessatthegym]

Competing is actually what really brought about my eating issues.

Before I started competing, I never really "thought" about what I was eating. I was tiny and active and it never really mattered.

Then when I started competing, when the restrictions made me absolutely bonkers. All I could think about was food and the rebound was pretty miserable after my first show. I thought something was wrong with me because I just couldn't control myself.

I competed three times since then and the issues have gotten a little better each time. Less rebound and when there has been, I have the sense of mind now to know that it will pass.

I'm also now taking all of 2008 off. Several things brought me to that decision but one contributing factor has been that until I learn how to have a healthy relationship with food again(i.e. go out to a nice dinner and NOT freak out, feel guilty and/or eat myself stupid) that dieting down again will just make it worse in the long run.

The year break will be good for both my body and mind and hopefully, I'll kick some ass and earn my way to a national stage in 2009.

[Ana]

Meaning?

Well it's no secret that I have eating issues, I don't want to hurt myself by doing this. On the other hand as part of my journey I come steps closer to dealing with my eating issues. Like I haven't binged in a long time, I gained weight because I ws careless with my diet and my training. So I don't know maybe for me trying to compete is a good thing or maybe i'll just end up worse. I guess I won't know till I try right?

[Cass]

So I don't know maybe for me trying to compete is a good thing or maybe i'll just end up worse. I guess I won't know till I try right?
Do you really want the stage? How important is it to you, to do it?

[Ali]

Ana, I just think you need to be aware of these issues...and you are. I think it can make you a little preoccupied with food, yes. And a little preoccupied with your body. I don't think it is something you should rule out b/c of food issues, but you have to look at it from your perspective...why you binge, why you want to compete, etc.

I personally don't think you should rule it out b/c of your eating issues.

[Ana]

Do you really want the stage? How important is it to you, to do it?

The stage per se is not that important to me, it's just a way to give me focus and direction. Achieving that level of leanness is very important it's just something that means a lot to me, not because of the aesthetic side of it but for the determination, focus and discipline it takes to get there. I've never been good at anything I've done. I come from a family of academic over achievers, I married a man that excels at everything he does. I want to be good at something and this is the only thing that interests me enough.
I don't even know if I'm making any sense.

[Ana]

Ana, I just think you need to be aware of these issues...and you are. I think it can make you a little preoccupied with food, yes. And a little preoccupied with your body. I don't think it is something you should rule out b/c of food issues, but you have to look at it from your perspective...why you binge, why you want to compete, etc.

I personally don't think you should rule it out b/c of your eating issues.

Thanks Ali. I wasn't planning on quitting just yet, but I am riddled with self doubt now.

[Inatic]

Thanks Ali. I wasn't planning on quitting just yet, but I am riddled with self doubt now.

You cant think like that. You have to believe in yourself more than anything. THink long and hard what it is you really want.. then go for it.

Like ali said, you know where you stand, be mindful of it but dont give up.

[Cass]

I've never been good at anything I've done.
Fuck that thinking.

You are an amazing mother, who puts her daughter first always. You are so focused, on making things good for her, and being involved. Good x 10

You are a great friend, who does things, just to make people smile.

You have taken it all to the gym, and kicked ass with your workouts.

Do it. If YOU really want to.

[Erik]

Fuck that thinking.


LMAO

:lol:

[Amy]

Fuck that thinking.

You are an amazing mother, who puts her daughter first always. You are so focused, on making things good for her, and being involved. Good x 10

You are a great friend, who does things, just to make people smile.

You have taken it all to the gym, and kicked ass with your workouts.

Do it. If YOU really want to.

:thumb:

I.Love.You!! :hehe:

[Ana]

Holy crap Cathy you just made me laugh and made me want to cry all at the same time.
Thanks :hearts:

Like I said, getting as lean as I can (which is what I really want) I have no intentions of giving up. If that gets me on stage great, if not I will be very mindful of how I'm feeling psychologically and physically as I push on for sure.

[Visionquester]

The stage per se is not that important to me, it's just a way to give me focus and direction. Achieving that level of leanness is very important it's just something that means a lot to me, not because of the aesthetic side of it but for the determination, focus and discipline it takes to get there. I've never been good at anything I've done. I come from a family of academic over achievers, I married a man that excels at everything he does. I want to be good at something and this is the only thing that interests me enough.
I don't even know if I'm making any sense.

I pretty much did it for the same reasons. Competing actually gave me the confidence not to compete anymore. Now I know I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to. I wasn't sure before.

~C.

[Visionquester]

How many shows did you do?
I did two shows two months apart.
~C.

[Ana]

I pretty much did it for the same reasons. Competing actually gave me the confidence not to compete anymore. Now I know I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to. I wasn't sure before.

~C.

I did that with a tattoo :lol3:
Nobody believed I had the nerve or the stomach to do it. So I went out alone one day and got one. Then I felt like I could to anything I set my mind to. Man I was on top of the world that day :shrug:

[Visionquester]

Cute story!

~C.
I just added the links to my previous post. Good articles.

[Ana]

Nah I just want to get lean so boys will hit on me :yayconfetti:

:funny: I crack myself up.
I need to go to bed or something :sad:

[Noel Clark]

I did two shows two months apart.
~C.

ok so after going through what you went through. Would you discourage others from competing?

[Ana]

Oooh I have a question :overhere:
I have had issues with food since I ws a kid really. I could remember getting money for the cafeteria at school and just stuffing my face while my friends got reasonable amounts. I've been someone who uses food for everything as long as I can remember. Embarking on this journey has helped me realize that and enabled me to work towards fixing it bits and pieces at a time.
I hear some of you competitors say you became obsessed with food as a result of competing and your restrictive diets.
So how do you know if you should compete or not? How do you know or when do you realize hey maybe this isn't healthy for me?

[SusanF]

Fuck that thinking.

You are an amazing mother, who puts her daughter first always. You are so focused, on making things good for her, and being involved. Good x 10

You are a great friend, who does things, just to make people smile.

You have taken it all to the gym, and kicked ass with your workouts.

Do it. If YOU really want to.

:yeahthat:

[Patricia]

So this is something that you have dealt with prior to competition dieting? Now that you are bulking and finding it a bit easier...do you think those same problems will arise when you diet back down?

Prior to competition dieting, yes, I guess I did. I mean, it started when I started in this lifestyle...eating 'clean' led to things being 'unclean' which were only 'allowed' on certain days which ended up being way out of control.

Will the problem arise come show time. No. When I have my heart set on it, and a specific goal/time I am fine. It's the wishy washy jusy trying to find a balance to 'maintain' or just 'lose weight' that gets me into trouble. When foods are off limits for no set reason other than to be healthy or just diet.
I'm trying to be as clear as I can...I hope this made sense.

[Patricia]

Correction: had

:finger:You still have it.
<---- Shoot, I still got mine, too ...somewhere under here. :o

[Noel Clark]

Prior to competition dieting, yes, I guess I did. I mean, it started when I started in this lifestyle...eating 'clean' led to things being 'unclean' which were only 'allowed' on certain days which ended up being way out of control.

Will the problem arise come show time. No. When I have my heart set on it, and a specific goal/time I am fine. It's the wishy washy jusy trying to find a balance to 'maintain' or just 'lose weight' that gets me into trouble. When foods are off limits for no set reason other than to be healthy or just diet.
I'm trying to be as clear as I can...I hope this made sense.

yes, it did.
So when you are allowed to eat..'bad' food you eat less then when it is 'off limits"

I guess the thing then is ...long term. What happens when you are finished competing. (yeah yeah i know...long way off :lol: ) but how do you keep that under control when you don't have that specific set goal and wanna be lean?

Also, do you have any idea why this started with you?

(sorry all of the questions...)

[Patricia]

I have no idea really. I just noticed that it seemed to start with the lifestyle and the clean 5x a day meals Ive been doing since I can remember..oh, high school? When I'd 'cheat' I'd binge. So, basically every Sunday from the time I was 20 was considered my 'free' day where I'd stuff myself silly all day.

I have no idea how I'll deal with it after I'm done. It is getting better and binges are farther and farther apart.


Ana, I suffer from binges BAD. Bad. But, when I really set my sights on a show and knew I really wanted it I just did it. I think you can too.

[SusanF]

I haven't competed, but I know that both times I've got my leanest (the first time I was training for a competition), it's brought on pretty serious binges. I'm not sure if it's the level of leanness (which hasn't been near what some of you have achieved, but it's been leaner than I've ever been), or whether it's the carb depletion (I'm thinking this is it - I'm SUPER sensitive to low carbs) or just the deprivation factor. I've always been somewhat of a binger, but not as bad as others I've read about here - I've never eaten a whole box of cookies or a whole pizza, but I've certainly had more than a serving at a time or a few bowls of cereal.

I sure would LOVE to figure out what it is that triggers this. Actually, my hope with this bulk I'm undertaking is that I can somehow trick my body into thinking that I can be leaner with more muscle, but maybe at the same weight where my body seems to be comfortable. :shrug: I also hope that just a break from constant dieting will help.

[Patricia]

When people say binge I think only half really use the term right.
A binge IS the whole pizza...plus whatever, and I mean WHATEVER is in your pantry that is BAD, then your FRIDGE, all this while standing in the kitchen....
then more until it HURTS LIKE HELL to lay on your stomach...or just breathe for that matter. That is a binge.

[Erik]

I sure would LOVE to figure out what it is that triggers this. Actually, my hope with this bulk I'm undertaking is that I can somehow trick my body into thinking that I can be leaner with more muscle, but maybe at the same weight where my body seems to be comfortable. :shrug: I also hope that just a break from constant dieting will help.

It's actually a bodyfat your body is comfortable at, not a bodyweight.

[Noel Clark]

When people say binge I think only half really use the term right.
A binge IS the whole pizza...plus whatever, and I mean WHATEVER is in your pantry that is BAD, then your FRIDGE, all this while standing in the kitchen....
then more until it HURTS LIKE HELL to lay on your stomach...or just breathe for that matter. That is a binge.

i agree with this.
I think some ppl just over do it..not binge. Some of the things that Ana has spoken about are what I would call a binge.

[SusanF]

Okay, so maybe I should use a different term, but for me it maybe hasn't been eat it all at once, but I'll overeat for days until my body finally tells me it's had enough and I can stop. Might not be a 'binge', but the effect is the same.

[SusanF]

It's actually a bodyfat your body is comfortable at, not a bodyweight.

I knew someone would rain on my parade:(. Isn't there a way to change this??

[Patricia]

i agree with this.
I think some ppl just over do it..not binge. Some of the things that Ana has spoken about are what I would call a binge.

Yes, most people simply overeat or 'cheat' not binge.

I binge bad when I do. To the point where sometimes I have thrown up and not even meant or tried to. Eaten so much in such a short amount of time my stomach literally cannot handle it.

[Erik]

Only if she were my daughter.
C.

:scratch:

Who?

[Noel Clark]

Only if she were my daughter


oh ...but not others?

[Neely]

Yes, this can be a very sensitive topic, but do you think that those that have had or do have food issues should compete?

I bring this up due to other threads going on as well as there is such a focus on food while dieting down for a show, I was wondering what others thought of that for ppl with food issues.

I can't really say anything definitive about people with existing food issues since I never really had issues with food before I started competing.

BUT I think that doing a competition, or simply going through the stricter diets of prep, *can* exacerbate 'obsessions' with food.

Personally, after my first comp diet, the 'bad' food was so much more appealing due to the fact that I couldn't have it for so long.

HOWEVER, I'm also much more conscious of my food choices too. I tend to think more about WHAT I'm eating, and I KNOW what's bad and that I should have it moderation. Some people may not be able to draw that line all the time.

It can go either way. Someone can feel entirely too restricted and then when they're 'free' of the dieting constraints, they go hog wild. Whereas, others will have their bad foods in moderation, and not fret over a little indulgence here and there.

Overall, I think it's highly dependent on what kind of issue the individual has with food to begin with. AND what they do or don't learn from the prep they do.

[Visionquester]

oh ...but not others?
No, not others. I wouldn't discourage anyone from doing anything they have their mind set to do. I would want them to be fully aware and prepared, sure (that's why I am posting here), but I am not taking responsibility for other people's choices.

Nobody could have stopped me, so I wouldn't want to stop anyone else.

~C.

[Patricia]

Ana you have such noble motives for wanting to be 'lean'...so do a lot of you...
proving anything has/had nothing to do with it for me...:lol3: PURELY aesthetics. :hehe:

[Blondell]

Competing made mine worse, yes.

:ditto:

I found myself focusing on food just for the sake of doing it. :bugeyes:

Now, I am starting to venture out into hobbies other than fitness. It helps to have other interest....kinda keeps the mind off food. :oops:

[Visionquester]

Does anyone have opinions on the Semi Starvation article? Because I swear to God I had all of the same exact symptoms in the final stages of prep and thereafter. If I had known that this was to be expected then I wouldn't have mentally tortured myself.

~C.

[Neely]

Semi Starvation? :scratch:

Got a link?

[Visionquester]

Semi Starvation? :scratch:

Got a link?

http://www.possibility.com/epowiki/Wiki.jsp?page=EffectsOfSemiStarvation

[pillowtalk]

Ana you have such noble motives for wanting to be 'lean'...so do a lot of you...
proving anything has/had nothing to do with it for me...:lol3: PURELY aesthetics. :hehe:



LOL!...ME TOO!!

Actually, this is all tied into self esteem issues & validation, blah, blah, blah...
Yes, once you get into this lifestyle & starve yourself, of course you will become obssesed with food! You are starving & your body is TELLING you something....To go freaking EAT! Survival mode, plain & simple.

I have always had food issues since puberty....mainly binge eating like Patricia described...amazing how much us little chicks can eat!...

I work with a therapist on some of my addiction /OCD issues.

Still doing a show April 5th tho....

Lisa

[gymgurl]

What do you guys find more difficult to deal with, the food aspect of things or the fact of your body changing after competition?

I've thought about trying to compete one day but I do have a history of ED-type behaviors so have pretty much decided it's likely not a good idea for me.

But, for me, I don't find the food restriction to be that big of an issue at all (I've gotten down fairly lean, just because I'm a bit obsessive...relating back to the ED behaviors). I can deal with cravings and eliminating foods. At first it's hard but it's only when I'm really, really starving that it'll become an issue, and even then, if I can have more vegetables or whatever, I'm usually fine.

But, for me, the harder part is seeing my body changing when gaining weight. Once I get my abs showing fairly clearing, the minute they start fading it's like sirens go off in my mind sometimes.

[Ana]

When people say binge I think only half really use the term right.
A binge IS the whole pizza...plus whatever, and I mean WHATEVER is in your pantry that is BAD, then your FRIDGE, all this while standing in the kitchen....
then more until it HURTS LIKE HELL to lay on your stomach...or just breathe for that matter. That is a binge.

It's also a state of mind, you're like a crazed animal when you do it. You don't talk you're in a zone just focusing on food and where you can get more. My mouth isn't even empty and i'm stuffing more into it all the while looking for my next bite. I usually only stop when I either have no more food left and don't feel like going out to get more (which I usually do after a little bit anyway) or I'm so ill i honestly feel like I may have to go to a hospital. It's really not pretty

[Ana]

Overall, I think it's highly dependent on what kind of issue the individual has with food to begin with. AND what they do or don't learn from the prep they do.

This right here has been my biggest transformation thus far. I'm really focusing on my issues with food and trying to learn all about food and how it makes me feel and why it makes me feel the way it does. I'm really hoping that if I make it on stage that food will not be a big issue after. It's a constant battle in my head all the time. I tell myself stuff like "you will never be able to eat what you want PERIOD" ( I just don't have that kind of metabolism) and every time I have an off plan meal i'm constantly reminding myself I can have more at another time etc. I now will take a set amount of whatever I want and that I think will satisfy my craving and then I'm done. Kind of like prepping my meals . I find grazing for me is not good.
I was successful in doing so on new year's eve which was my last cheat

[Patricia]

It's also a state of mind, you're like a crazed animal when you do it. You don't talk you're in a zone just focusing on food and where you can get more. My mouth isn't even empty and i'm stuffing more into it all the while looking for my next bite. I usually only stop when I either have no more food left and don't feel like going out to get more (which I usually do after a little bit anyway) or I'm so ill i honestly feel like I may have to go to a hospital. It's really not pretty

Yes, exactly.

It's a very serious issue which is why it kind of irks me that people refer to overeating and simply cheating as bingeing.

And, is is a state of mind. You can't stop. Literally. You can even have thoughts like "wtf am I doing??" and still keep shoveling food into your mouth.

I bought that book that C had mentioned in one of her blogs "Overcoming Binge Eating". It made so much sense and made me feel not so crazy.

My friend Danny has an obese son that suffers from this and even went to Duke University for treatment. He told me he just couldn't understand WHY his son just couldn't stop. When I told him I had the same problems, and when we all went to dinner and his son and I basically repeated the same stories and nodded constantly to each other Danny sort of got it.
Although, if you've never suffered from it you will never quite understand. Once you start you simply can't 'just say no.'

[Noel Clark]

What do you guys find more difficult to deal with, the food aspect of things or the fact of your body changing after competition?

I've thought about trying to compete one day but I do have a history of ED-type behaviors so have pretty much decided it's likely not a good idea for me.

But, for me, I don't find the food restriction to be that big of an issue at all (I've gotten down fairly lean, just because I'm a bit obsessive...relating back to the ED behaviors). I can deal with cravings and eliminating foods. At first it's hard but it's only when I'm really, really starving that it'll become an issue, and even then, if I can have more vegetables or whatever, I'm usually fine.

But, for me, the harder part is seeing my body changing when gaining weight. Once I get my abs showing fairly clearing, the minute they start fading it's like sirens go off in my mind sometimes.

This is more me. I don't struggle (like others..cause nobody really LIKES giving up their food :) ) with dieting down...I just hate seeing my abs disappear just like you...it irks me. :lol:

[Ana]

Yes, exactly.

It's a very serious issue which is why it kind of irks me that people refer to overeating and simply cheating as bingeing.

And, is is a state of mind. You can't stop. Literally. You can even have thoughts like "wtf am I doing??" and still keep shoveling food into your mouth.

I bought that book that C had mentioned in one of her blogs "Overcoming Binge Eating". It made so much sense and made me feel not so crazy.

My friend Danny has an obese son that suffers from this and even went to Duke University for treatment. He told me he just couldn't understand WHY his son just couldn't stop. When I told him I had the same problems, and when we all went to dinner and his son and I basically repeated the same stories and nodded constantly to each other Danny sort of got it.
Although, if you've never suffered from it you will never quite understand. Once you start you simply can't 'just say no.'

Yup I've had cases where I'm literally stuffing my face and crying all at the same time :suicide:

[Patricia]

Yup I've had cases where I'm literally stuffing my face and crying all at the same time :suicide:

That is awful. :(

I've never done that but have right afterward. Ugh. That has to be the worst feeling. And, it's almost instantaneous. As soon as you are forced to stop shoveling food into your mouth you want to cry and hate yourself.

[Ana]

That is awful. :(

I've never done that but have right afterward. Ugh. That has to be the worst feeling. And, it's almost instantaneous. As soon as you are forced to stop shoveling food into your mouth you want to cry and hate yourself.

Yes it is. It's taught me great lessons though. I mean I've always been so self righteous about addictions I didn't understand like that of alcoholics and drug addictions. I mean I've always felt that it's a choice that ppl made to get addicted so now they should just display some self control and stop. It's not that simple, although I still stand by the fact that food you eat every day and putting and illegal substance in your body you KNOW is no good for you is a little different, but the inability to stop and the urge to go back is the same. It's also made me aware of setting an example and teaching my dd about not using food as comfort but rather as fuel.
So if there is a lesson to be learned (at least for me) then bring on the challenge.
I'd be really proud though if I could tell Erik and my family and friends that I made it through the yr binge free.
These ppl have all contributed to a great life change for me as well as supported me so another one of my goals is conquer this.

[wannabelean]

I think that limiting the food intake is hard but the body image changes are worse for me. I have always found that the mirror tells me lies. I literally have to take pictures to see myself as I really look. When I look in the mirror, I see myself at least 10-15 pounds heavier than I am. Like Noel, seeing my abs and then not seeing them sucked. Of course, I did not get to keep mine as long as she did. I have suffered with bulemia/aneroxia(in high school) and body dysmorphic and I was afraid to compete because of it. I have found for me it was life changing to compete but more so because I began to see myself as valuable and beautiful in God's eyes no matter what I look like. It was the strength of God that alloweed me to compete and not focus on myself but on what I could do to glorify him. I know for many this seems hard to understand but this is just the way it was for me.

[Erik]

I have always found that the mirror tells me lies. I literally have to take pictures to see myself as I really look. When I look in the mirror, I see myself at least 10-15 pounds heavier than I am.

In all fairness, that's not the mirror lying to you though. That's you lying to yourself.

Subjective feelings based on what you're seeing.

To another person, one who is obviously more objective, they'd see what you really looked like.

That said, quite common.

[wannabelean]

In all fairness, that's not the mirror lying to you though. That's you lying to yourself.

Subjective feelings based on what you're seeing.

To another person, one who is obviously more objective, they'd see what you really looked like.

That said, quite common.

Why do you think that seeing pictures makes the difference? Why am I able to see myself from an objective standpoint in the pictures but not the mirror.

[Erik]

Why do you think that seeing pictures makes the difference? Why am I able to see myself from an objective standpoint in the pictures but not the mirror.

You think an inanimate object can actually lie to you? :wink:

It's still your own subjective interpretation of what you're seeing in your reflection. It's in real time, it's live. It's lighting, whatever. But the mirror can't lie. Your impression of what you see is the issue.

With pictures you can put two beside each other for example and at that point, it's easy to be objective about any changes because it's like you're 'outside looking in', as opposed to being inside to begin with.

Boy that didn't make much sense did it? :lol:

[wannabelean]

It is all mental! I am mental.

[gymgurl]

This is more me. I don't struggle (like others..cause nobody really LIKES giving up their food :) ) with dieting down...I just hate seeing my abs disappear just like you...it irks me. :lol:

So how do you deal with this? Or well, how much do you find it affects you? I have yet to do a really good bulk because every single time the abs start to get a little too much fat...it's revert right back to dieting.

I've finally managed to get my cardio under control...no more pycho loads of that, but eating more and willing gaining weight is really, really hard for me.

[Noel Clark]

So how do you deal with this? Or well, how much do you find it affects you? I have yet to do a really good bulk because every single time the abs start to get a little too much fat...it's revert right back to dieting.

I've finally managed to get my cardio under control...no more pycho loads of that, but eating more and willing gaining weight is really, really hard for me.

ok...this was super hard for me. You can ask Erik :lol:

BUT this was my thinking. See I did my first bulk this off season. I put on about 17 lbs which for me :ruloco: THE ONLY thing that kept me sane was the fact that my weights in the gym shot up. Also, I didn't want to compete looking exactly the same...I wanted better. More improvements. I couldn't allow myself to come in to the shows this year with NO improvements. I also KNOW that I can get back down. No it wasn't easy, no I don't like not fitting into my pants, but man, pulling 335 on a deadlift and push pressing 150 was an awesome feeling. Not to mention I just KNOW that I have more muscle now.

[gymgurl]

ok...this was super hard for me. You can ask Erik :lol:

BUT this was my thinking. See I did my first bulk this off season. I put on about 17 lbs which for me :ruloco: THE ONLY thing that kept me sane was the fact that my weights in the gym shot up. Also, I didn't want to compete looking exactly the same...I wanted better. More improvements. I couldn't allow myself to come in to the shows this year with NO improvements. I also KNOW that I can get back down. No it wasn't easy, no I don't like not fitting into my pants, but man, pulling 335 on a deadlift and push pressing 150 was an awesome feeling. Not to mention I just KNOW that I have more muscle now.

Thanks for the reply, and those are some good points to keep in mind. Seeing the weights go up would definitely help.

I think partly too, I've been fairly lean (not competition lean, but overall decent) for so long that I've almost lost touch with reality on how much weight it would take to make me look really 'soft'. As silly as it sounds, the two things I fear most are just having 'love handles' and then a bit of jiggle under the glutes... but I'm sure I'm probably a ways away from that anyway.

I think maybe for me, purposely, just gaining up to a certain weight and then coming back down would help me get over this issue. I've become a master at maintaining for so long now, but it doesn't really do much in terms of major progress.

[Inatic]

i spent most of my adult life over wt and the last 5-6yrs losing it and taking it off. Being hypothyroid (some yrs undiagnosis and undertreated) didnt make any of it easy.

The idea of a bulk was really scary to me! It took me a whole yr to think about doing one before i did one. I also knew if i was going to do it, it was going to be with a good plan and guidance (thank you Erik!) Last fall i did my first bulk. I gained, i got squishy, i got stronger, my metobolism thanked me beyond anything and most rewarding, i grew muscle!

When i leaned down I got the leanest i'd ever been and my body looked much different.

So here we go again. Im bulking (specializing) Yup, im squishy, gaining again (hate the love handles) but i also think my body is like THANK YOU! Even bulking this time around, my body looks different.

I cant wait to see what we grew this time :D

[Noel Clark]

Thanks for the reply, and those are some good points to keep in mind. Seeing the weights go up would definitely help.

I think partly too, I've been fairly lean (not competition lean, but overall decent) for so long that I've almost lost touch with reality on how much weight it would take to make me look really 'soft'. As silly as it sounds, the two things I fear most are just having 'love handles' and then a bit of jiggle under the glutes... but I'm sure I'm probably a ways away from that anyway.

I think maybe for me, purposely, just gaining up to a certain weight and then coming back down would help me get over this issue. I've become a master at maintaining for so long now, but it doesn't really do much in terms of major progress.

I don't know if you work with anyone but that also helped. Having someone evaluate where you are...telling you...THIS IS NORMAL. Or saying...ok it is time to back off a bit. It kind of takes the pressure off of you to decide what to do with your calories. I kind of treated like a diet...and followed the plan. It was alot easy knowing that I could show or tell Erik where I was and he would say ..ok that is perfect we are on the right track. YK?

[SusanF]

Thanks for the reply, and those are some good points to keep in mind. Seeing the weights go up would definitely help.

I think partly too, I've been fairly lean (not competition lean, but overall decent) for so long that I've almost lost touch with reality on how much weight it would take to make me look really 'soft'. As silly as it sounds, the two things I fear most are just having 'love handles' and then a bit of jiggle under the glutes... but I'm sure I'm probably a ways away from that anyway.

I think maybe for me, purposely, just gaining up to a certain weight and then coming back down would help me get over this issue. I've become a master at maintaining for so long now, but it doesn't really do much in terms of major progress.

Look at Noel's pics in her recent blog post. You can see that even 17 pounds heavier, she still looks amazing. Keep in mind that just because you gain weight temporarily doesn't mean that you have to keep it. (I say this now, but I'm just starting my first bulk. I'm sure there'll be times I'm freaking about the weight gain, too, but seeing how others have had such success and good things to say about it will help!)

[Noel Clark]

Look at Noel's pics in her recent blog post. You can see that even 17 pounds heavier, she still looks amazing. Keep in mind that just because you gain weight temporarily doesn't mean that you have to keep it. (I say this now, but I'm just starting my first bulk. I'm sure there'll be times I'm freaking about the weight gain, too, but seeing how others have had such success and good things to say about it will help!)

First off thank you!

Second, this is very true. I would never feel comfortable at this weight long term, but realizing that this too has a purpose really sets you straight mentally. I am all about getting better..so that was what I tried to concentrate on in between the fits :lol:

[SusanF]

First off thank you!

Second, this is very true. I would never feel comfortable at this weight long term, but realizing that this too has a purpose really sets you straight mentally. I am all about getting better..so that was what I tried to concentrate on in between the fits :lol:

What Ileen said in her post helps a lot, too (about getting leaner than ever after her bulk). I really hope this'll be the case with me, too. :fingerscrossed:

[gymgurl]

Thanks for the replies; those are good points too.

I think as I gained the weight, it would probably get easier because then I'd 'come back down to reality' so to speak...and see that a few pounds wasn't going to be all that incredibly noticeable, so then progressing forwards and gaining more wouldn't be quite that bad.

Working with someone may help too, since then it's more 'out of my hands'. Right now, for me, I'm more trying to focus on just being less structured with my diet and letting what happens, happens, and be okay with it. I've just been so anal with counting calories, etc, for so many years. Taking a diet break and not counting is almost unimaginable for me, but I feel at this point in my life it's what I need to do. But I know with that, could come weight gain, which is where it gets scary.

[MichelleS]

This is a really good thread. This time around I'm going to try to not let my issues with food interfer with my contest prep.

[Noel Clark]

Thanks for the replies; those are good points too.

I think as I gained the weight, it would probably get easier because then I'd 'come back down to reality' so to speak...and see that a few pounds wasn't going to be all that incredibly noticeable, so then progressing forwards and gaining more wouldn't be quite that bad.

Working with someone may help too, since then it's more 'out of my hands'. Right now, for me, I'm more trying to focus on just being less structured with my diet and letting what happens, happens, and be okay with it. I've just been so anal with counting calories, etc, for so many years. Taking a diet break and not counting is almost unimaginable for me, but I feel at this point in my life it's what I need to do. But I know with that, could come weight gain, which is where it gets scary.

Do you have a SO? The reason that I ask is that maybe if you truly wanted to do a bulk you get their help. I know for me, that sometimes the weight or even measurements was hard to see. It was hard enough going up in pant size, but I had my Husband take my measurments and then when I started to diet he would just tell me the difference..how much I dropped. This takes your mental issues with numbers out of it. :shrug:

[gymgurl]

Do you have a SO? The reason that I ask is that maybe if you truly wanted to do a bulk you get their help. I know for me, that sometimes the weight or even measurements was hard to see. It was hard enough going up in pant size, but I had my Husband take my measurments and then when I started to diet he would just tell me the difference..how much I dropped. This takes your mental issues with numbers out of it. :shrug:

That's not a bad idea as well. I did just start dating a guy and one of my big fears is that he wouldn't find me as attractive if I gained weight, so I talked to him about it and he was completely on board with me gaining 10-15 pounds, so that really, REALLY helped ease my comfort.

For me, it's not even a numbers game, just seeing the ab lines disappear seems to be what does it. I think once I get over the initial 'letdown' to put it (probably not the right word...), then it will be much easier to continue.

Plus, as I see my upper body fillout more, that should help too (I'm too small there, so it's a trade-off for me at this point, arms and scrawny upper body, or give up the abs for a while and hopefully build my upper body more).

[Noel Clark]

That's not a bad idea as well. I did just start dating a guy and one of my big fears is that he wouldn't find me as attractive if I gained weight, so I talked to him about it and he was completely on board with me gaining 10-15 pounds, so that really, REALLY helped ease my comfort.

For me, it's not even a numbers game, just seeing the ab lines disappear seems to be what does it. I think once I get over the initial 'letdown' to put it (probably not the right word...), then it will be much easier to continue.

Plus, as I see my upper body fillout more, that should help too (I'm too small there, so it's a trade-off for me at this point, arms and scrawny upper body, or give up the abs for a while and hopefully build my upper body more).

:thumb:

Keep us posted on how it goes.

[donnajo]

You think an inanimate object can actually lie to you? :wink:

It's still your own subjective interpretation of what you're seeing in your reflection. It's in real time, it's live. It's lighting, whatever. But the mirror can't lie. Your impression of what you see is the issue.

With pictures you can put two beside each other for example and at that point, it's easy to be objective about any changes because it's like you're 'outside looking in', as opposed to being inside to begin with.

Boy that didn't make much sense did it? :lol:


Exactly, that makes perfect sense? I can lie to myself when I look in the mirror and but for some reason I see myself differently in pictures.

When I first started with you I still had baby weight on me I just could not lose. I was stuck at the 15 lbs. over that I just could not lose. I would look in the mirror and not see it but when I took my first biweekly pics and then compared them to the second and third to the last one. Wow, I could see the differences. If I just trusted to look in the mirror I would not see or remember that.

The pics definitely were a motivating factor for me.

[gymgurl]

:thumb:

Keep us posted on how it goes.

Thanks I will. I hope I can get over this because I'm sure it's single-handledly been holding me back for so many years.

There seems to be lots of good support here though so that definitely makes it easier.

Thanks again! :)

[Patricia]

I think I've already posted in this thread but.....


Competing for me sort of took away the 'middle ground' of eating well.
At least, for the past couple of years-- I know I can overcome it and am working on it. And, dieting SLOWLY has helped a lot, too.

Before I began competing and just trained and ate to 'look' the part, I binged MUCH less...actually, I never really did...ate 'clean' throughout the week and just overate a bit on the weekends (overeating is NOT binging for those who don't know the difference between the two....)

[Blondell]

I think I've already posted in this thread but.....


Competing for me sort of took away the 'middle ground' of eating well.
At least, for the past couple of years-- I know I can overcome it and am working on it. And, dieting SLOWLY has helped a lot, too.

Before I began competing and just trained and ate to 'look' the part, I binged MUCH less...actually, I never really did...ate 'clean' throughout the week and just overate a bit on the weekends (overeating is NOT binging for those who don't know the difference between the two....)

This was the case w/ me too.

[Cindy Day]

...and not to be overlooked is the fact that some never have eating issues until they do compete. To answer the original question however, I think it depends on the person. Contest prep is an aid to many to help them reach a goal.

The challenging part from there in my book, is maintaining a look or goal place, not just achieving it for a temporary period. There are so many triggers behind individuals food issues that this becomes impossible to answer.

[Trish]

:nonono:When i first started to work out i just limited my junk and tried to eat as healty as I could and work out, I never really stressed about macros and lost 30 lbs without feeling deprived or like I was going nuts, then when I wanted to lose more and started trying to completely cut things out, train more and count every calorie in I actually think of food more than I ever have in my damn life.

Now I am in this zoombie land where I dont care and yet I feel awful for eating all the crap I don't want to go back to stressing about every damn factor and how one should not eat this with that or all the damn complex things. Gosh life is too short for all of this.

I am just going to start to get back to just eating as healthy as I can and training. finding the love for it again and not stressing so much.

So I have to say that dieting for me has defenitely messed iwht my head

[Sohee]

...and not to be overlooked is the fact that some never have eating issues until they do compete. To answer the original question however, I think it depends on the person. Contest prep is an aid to many to help them reach a goal.


:yeahthat: I agree wholeheartedly with this post. I think it depends very much on the individual-- particularly his/her personality and behavioral tendencies. I'm much better off on a slightly more restrictive but completely clean diet when losing weight as opposed to all the other methods I've tried before. The binges have dwindled down to none at this point, and when I do take a cheat meal, it's not in obscene amounts.

Very, very individual.

[Sportsgirl]

I think my relationship with food has improved ever since I started competing. I never exclude any foods (including junk and alcohol) and for this reason I never have any issues or problems with overeating or binging. In my "offseason" I eat healthily and don't worry about counting food, I just make sure I eat enough protein. I think it's more important to give my mind and body a rest.

As a contrast, before I used to worry about eating "clean" and thought that eating some junk would take me further from my goals. In some ways I felt very deprived eating this way and wouldn't be able to have "just one". Or I would but it would take great willpower on my part and for a few hours after I would still be thinking about food. Not healthy mentally :ruloco:

[ReneeG]

My 'food issues' and body image improved from my competing. I only did a few shows and didn't even do well in them, but had a wonderful time training for them.
It was important, especially given my history with food, that I be sure competing wasn't going to screw with my head or trigger anything. My head was screwed a little, but it was short-lived and I still feel better for it all.
Bulimia, anorexia and body dysmorphia can be manifestations of a variety of underlying issues. It may have NOTHING to do with food. If this is the case, figuring out the problem is half the battle, then you can work on finding a solution. Doing that allowed me to have fun with training and competing.