When your SO does not share the same lifestyle as you do

[cupofjoe]

My husband knows that I like to eat healthy. I have been this way before we met so it's not like it's something that I decided to change after we had been together for a while.

The other day I think I hurt his feelings and thats not what I had intended to do at all. We had gone to Costco to get a few weeks of supplies and there were just a few things we were lacking so when we got home I sent him to the grocery store. Well he comes back and says, hey, I got you something. I'm thinking, maybe he picked me up a small treat being that Saturday was going to be my cheat day. He was like, I figured you could eat these when you were in a hurry in the mornings and he pulled out a box of pop tarts. I just stared at him in bleeping amazement. Was he bleeping kidding me? I told him as nice as I could that I didn't like pop tarts and that it was one of the worst food 's that someone could eat. I pointed to the label and started reading off the ingrediants to make my point. He just got in a huff and said all you care about is how many calories something has and whats in the food, can't you live a little bit.

Arrrggg, Does anyone else deal with this type of thing? Was I too harsh with him or did I have a right to point out my reasons that I don't eat crap like that? He does this sort of stuff all the time but usually it is with granola bars or something that he thinks is healthy and I just let it go because I know he will end up eating them, but pop tarts?

[Meechel]

I don't have a SO but my dd tries to give me things but overall she is pretty good....but I mainly posted because I :love: the word bleeping and it reminds me of home!

:hehe:

[Alicrmt]

:lol: Actually, I think some people here eat pop tarts PWO :scratch:

Personally I think you might have been a bit harsh on him...well, judging by how you described the incident. I have to watch myself sometimes with the dude I am dating because while he seems to WANT to eat healthier by following my lead, sometimes he is SO STUPID when it comes to food :blink: Seriously. It makes my :headhurt:

There is nothing wrong with gently explaining to him why you can't/won't eat pop tarts, but if it were me I would make a big deal out of thanking him for thinking of me. Guys dig that crap I think :shrug:

[straitshooter]

:lol: Actually, I think some people here eat pop tarts PWO :scratch:

Personally I think you might have been a bit harsh on him...well, judging by how you described the incident. I have to watch myself sometimes with the dude I am dating because while he seems to WANT to eat healthier by following my lead, sometimes he is SO STUPID when it comes to food :blink: Seriously. It makes my :headhurt:

There is nothing wrong with gently explaining to him why you can't/won't eat pop tarts, but if it were me I would make a big deal out of thanking him for thinking of me. Guys dig that crap I think :shrug:
i sometimes have PopTarts post workout. LOL
Brown sugar cinammon, BABY!

I think maybe he was just hurt because he went out of his way to get something he thought you would like? Geez, that's a tough one, because you dont' want him to NOT do sweet stuff like that, just maybe tell him next time to replace the PopTarts w/ Broccoli. LOL

[Meechel]

i sometimes have PopTarts post workout. LOL
Brown sugar cinammon, BABY!

I think maybe he was just hurt because he went out of his way to get something he thought you would like? Geez, that's a tough one, because you dont' want him to NOT do sweet stuff like that, just maybe tell him next time to replace the PopTarts w/ Broccoli. LOL

5 Love languages....acts of service is important to him....and the praise one too probably.

[StefanM]

This happens to me as well. I'll usually take a small portion and throw the rest away. Now if someone was constanty trying to sabotage me, I'd tell them to give it a rest.

He was probably just trying to be nice. Frankly, many of us men really have no clue anyway. Oh we try though, "A" for effort.

[RpH]

This happens to me as well. I'll usually take a small portion and throw the rest away. Now if someone was constanty trying to sabotage me, I'd tell them to give it a rest.

He was probably just trying to be nice. Frankly, many of us men really have no clue anyway. Oh we try though, "A" for effort.

Amen brother!

[cupofjoe]

Oh, I know he was trying to be nice and I appreciated the thought, I really did but sometimes it's so hard to get him to understand the whole healthy vs not healthy thing. I don't think he intentionally tries to sabatoge me. He thinks he is just being sweet.

Five Love Languages, I have seen that book but never read it, maybe I will take a stab at it.. thanks for mentioning that :)

Do some of you guys really eat pop tarts for POW? Thats interesting.. maybe I can use that as an incentive to get hubby to workout with me LOL. He loves the things.

[Inatic]

I'd prolly have said thank you babe and put it away for 'another' day.

Men or other family members dont always get it. It's ok. I just say that i have to save it, thank them and put it away.

[Anca]

I'm lucky that my hubby understands my eating and exercise lifestyle and has recently joined in! He was my biggest supporter during my contest prep last year and even when I didn't believe I could ever get lean enough for the stage, he kept encouraging me and telling me I already had the body I was working for. :love:
The rest of my family, however... it's a different story! It's been a continuous discussion for the past couple of years about the fact that my hubby and I need to start having kids (my SIL is getting ready to have her second). We are neither ready nor sure that we want kids.
Anyways, in one of these pointless discussions today my MIL told my hubby that "who knows, with all this working out and eating healthy, Anca might have damaged her body and might not be able to have kids!" This coming from someone who is 60 lbs overweight and has been yo-yo dieting for 40 yrs. :rolleyes:
And yes- I am perfectly healthy.

[FitnessModerate]

Amazing how clueless men are.

[smuggie]

Anca, don't listen to your family. They have no right to try and tell you and your husband what you should do.

[Noel Clark]

My husband knows that I like to eat healthy. I have been this way before we met so it's not like it's something that I decided to change after we had been together for a while.

The other day I think I hurt his feelings and thats not what I had intended to do at all. We had gone to Costco to get a few weeks of supplies and there were just a few things we were lacking so when we got home I sent him to the grocery store. Well he comes back and says, hey, I got you something. I'm thinking, maybe he picked me up a small treat being that Saturday was going to be my cheat day. He was like, I figured you could eat these when you were in a hurry in the mornings and he pulled out a box of pop tarts. I just stared at him in bleeping amazement. Was he bleeping kidding me? I told him as nice as I could that I didn't like pop tarts and that it was one of the worst food 's that someone could eat. I pointed to the label and started reading off the ingrediants to make my point. He just got in a huff and said all you care about is how many calories something has and whats in the food, can't you live a little bit.

Arrrggg, Does anyone else deal with this type of thing? Was I too harsh with him or did I have a right to point out my reasons that I don't eat crap like that? He does this sort of stuff all the time but usually it is with granola bars or something that he thinks is healthy and I just let it go because I know he will end up eating them, but pop tarts?

I think that the reason you were harsh withhim was b/c you said he does this ALLL THE TIME. Maybe take some time to sit down and REALLY explain it to him. Telling him how extremely important it is to you and how you want his support.

I will say it is hard to do it without...not impossible but hard.

[Carolyn]

I agree with Noel. My husband and I are two completely different eaters. I don't force him to eat healthy so we have goodies in the house. It makes it harder, but he never pressures me to eat them. He sometimes forgets that I specifically tell him not to offer them to me, but I'll just patiently remind him. He doesn't mean to do it to hurt me, he just honestly forgets.

Hope everything is ok now.

[Pineapple Girl]

it is hard. My DH does not work out, hates exercise, is very unhealthy (overweight, high BP, high cholesterol, on meds). he does not get that I like to workout and want to be strong and healthy. He thinks I am fine the way I am and sometimes harrasses me that I am getting too skinny. I would LOVE to be bigger with more muscle but it is a slow process.

[Trish]

My husband knows that I like to eat healthy. I have been this way before we met so it's not like it's something that I decided to change after we had been together for a while.

The other day I think I hurt his feelings and thats not what I had intended to do at all. We had gone to Costco to get a few weeks of supplies and there were just a few things we were lacking so when we got home I sent him to the grocery store. Well he comes back and says, hey, I got you something. I'm thinking, maybe he picked me up a small treat being that Saturday was going to be my cheat day. He was like, I figured you could eat these when you were in a hurry in the mornings and he pulled out a box of pop tarts. I just stared at him in bleeping amazement. Was he bleeping kidding me? I told him as nice as I could that I didn't like pop tarts and that it was one of the worst food 's that someone could eat. I pointed to the label and started reading off the ingrediants to make my point. He just got in a huff and said all you care about is how many calories something has and whats in the food, can't you live a little bit.

Arrrggg, Does anyone else deal with this type of thing? Was I too harsh with him or did I have a right to point out my reasons that I don't eat crap like that? He does this sort of stuff all the time but usually it is with granola bars or something that he thinks is healthy and I just let it go because I know he will end up eating them, but pop tarts?


I can understand and see this happening. My bf and i have different goals. We are both into the lifestyle but he is trying to add mass and I am trying to reduce bodyfat. At times that can be a little hard because I get a little flustered with tracking #'s and he wants to go eat ice cream with me and my girls. :)

I will honestly tell you that he didnt know really much about nutrition until I started printing articles and reading out loud while we were in bed. LOL Yeap, I had to get him to understand. He now respect my diet more, however sometimes he still brings something like a honey bun or thinks that country crock sweat potato would be ok for me to have. LOL Hey at least he is trying. I may have some of the sweet potato (4oz) and then tell him I will make my own next time becuase they are less process. The honey buns, i give them out and am trying not to even give them to my girls.

Maybe sharing information out loud with him will work too. I didn't even know all about the stuff put into a lot of foods so it was a learning experience for me too.

[Roseanne]

My DH is very supportive of my clean eating. He does as well, but what frustrates the living daylights out of me is... he munches on crap! :chairshot: Like if he making snacks for the kids, he'll just randomly/mindlessly eat while stuffing their bags. Argh!!! The frustrating thing about it is he CAN eat that crap with NO consequences!!! Sends me completely over the edge:lol3:

[13Harley]

I get frustrated with my dh too. He eats junk and doesn't work out. He doesn't care what he looks like, yet I care what he looks like. I wish he would exercise and eat better as those pounds and stomach and back fat creep up on him. What is the hardest for me is that he makes a HUGE bowl of popcorn at night when I am starving! It is so hard to resist. I so wish he would be more supportive of my lifestyle and start living the life himself! I just don't get how many men could care less how they look. They have no problem walking around with their shirts off and the their bellies hanging out.

[Erik]

I guess I'm one of the fortunate ones. My wife trains just as much and just as hard as I do. Eats the same way as well.

Makes it very easy to 'live the lifestyle' in my house.

[13Harley]

Yes, you are lucky! I wish it was that way here. If I could ONLY have healthy foods in my house..... I think my kids and husband would riot! Some day.....

[HOEGH29]

My husband knows that I like to eat healthy. I have been this way before we met so it's not like it's something that I decided to change after we had been together for a while.

The other day I think I hurt his feelings and thats not what I had intended to do at all. We had gone to Costco to get a few weeks of supplies and there were just a few things we were lacking so when we got home I sent him to the grocery store. Well he comes back and says, hey, I got you something. I'm thinking, maybe he picked me up a small treat being that Saturday was going to be my cheat day. He was like, I figured you could eat these when you were in a hurry in the mornings and he pulled out a box of pop tarts. I just stared at him in bleeping amazement. Was he bleeping kidding me? I told him as nice as I could that I didn't like pop tarts and that it was one of the worst food 's that someone could eat. I pointed to the label and started reading off the ingrediants to make my point. He just got in a huff and said all you care about is how many calories something has and whats in the food, can't you live a little bit.

Arrrggg, Does anyone else deal with this type of thing? Was I too harsh with him or did I have a right to point out my reasons that I don't eat crap like that? He does this sort of stuff all the time but usually it is with granola bars or something that he thinks is healthy and I just let it go because I know he will end up eating them, but pop tarts?

My husband and I don't share the same healthy lifestyle. For instance, if I buy a little carton of ice cream I will have have one or two spoonfuls but he will take it and eat 3/4 of it that day. He ends up eating it all after a day in a half. Well, its ice cream so I don't care...but so unhealthy for him.

It sounds like your husband just doesn't get it. I think that is similar to most men...they haven't been taught to look at food labels or care what is in something. Unless your husband is serious about changing his own lifestyle that part of him will probably not change. I would love it if my husband surprised me with anything. Go easy on him, at least he was thinking of you. But I understand your frustration.

[Roseanne]

I'm sorry. I just reread my post, and forgot to mention, that he DOES work out... but can continue to eat the not so good for you stuff. And he still looks great! I "look" at the stuff & it goes right to my stomach!!!:scratch:

[Whynot5]

I am one of the lucky ones I guess. My husband is very mindful of what he eats and our biggest arguments are around who is exercising first each evening. (He doesn't mind working out when I do but I want control of the TV!)

He is fortunate though he too, can snack without impacting his weight. But again, my biggest supporter and when we go out to eat he is willing to go based on my choices so I can eat on plan.

[Visionquester]

Luckily,
My DH is a sneak eater.... I only find the wrappers and receipts! Mine knows better than to bring me anything by now, and doesn't dare touch my laundry either. lol

He used to bring me avocados when he screwed up as a peace offering though.

~C.