colo1278
08-04-2006, 12:26 PM
So all day yesterday starting at noon, I spotted. It was 1-2 days early for my period, very very light, and brownish-pink and watery. Not at all like a usual period for me and I have never spotted a day in my life. My Aunt Flow usually starts off as a deluge. (TMI, but it's 5am and I'm mad enough that I don't really give a rat's butthole right now.)
So I wake up at 4:45 to pee like I always do, but this time I was ready. I had a test stick all set up in another bathroom so I wouldn't wake the sleeping dh.
Oh contraire mes amis- my period has arrived. Dammit all.
I am trying really hard to be positive (ha ha) and just keep trying, but in my mind, that was just plain mean to have me spot yesterday. I swear, I probably crashed the google headquarters with all my "implantation spotting" related searches. It is so hard to want to get excited but be holding back a little to save yourself the disappointment. I kept telling myself yesterday calm down, don't get too worked up, but I wanted it so bad... and also wanted it to be a happy, exciting, enjoyable thing if I WAS pg... argh.
I am really sorry if other people on here TTC or who have had MC are hurt or offended or whatever by my post- I have only been TTC for four cycles now, so I probably shouldn't be bitching. I know there are women with problems way harder than mine. I guess I just needed to rant and if I choose, I can ignore this board (unlike my mom, friends, or dh) if I don't want to hear the answers/advice. Again, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way at all- it is true that internet boards are good sometimes just to get things off your chest... which is exactly what I needed to do at 4:45 in the a.m. or else I would just stare at the ceiling, trying not to cry and wake my dh for the next three hours. It's just hard when you are doing everything right.
Warning, this is prob going to start rambling if I sit here too much longer... but I have a word of advice for anyone who's thinking of TTC. Don't tell any of your friends, or even family. I know it's exciting, but for me, it just adds to the pressure and disappointment. They all keep fricking asking!!!!! I am almost more upset that people are going to be asking me again soon and I can't 1) say yes we are pg or 2) lie to them bc it's too early to tell, but know I am carrying around a beautiful little secret. Now I have to go to a few parties this weekend and dread the questions the whole time.
Okay, rambling now... guess I will try to go back to sleep. Baby hopes for everyone who is trying.
So I wake up at 4:45 to pee like I always do, but this time I was ready. I had a test stick all set up in another bathroom so I wouldn't wake the sleeping dh.
Oh contraire mes amis- my period has arrived. Dammit all.
I am trying really hard to be positive (ha ha) and just keep trying, but in my mind, that was just plain mean to have me spot yesterday. I swear, I probably crashed the google headquarters with all my "implantation spotting" related searches. It is so hard to want to get excited but be holding back a little to save yourself the disappointment. I kept telling myself yesterday calm down, don't get too worked up, but I wanted it so bad... and also wanted it to be a happy, exciting, enjoyable thing if I WAS pg... argh.
I am really sorry if other people on here TTC or who have had MC are hurt or offended or whatever by my post- I have only been TTC for four cycles now, so I probably shouldn't be bitching. I know there are women with problems way harder than mine. I guess I just needed to rant and if I choose, I can ignore this board (unlike my mom, friends, or dh) if I don't want to hear the answers/advice. Again, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way at all- it is true that internet boards are good sometimes just to get things off your chest... which is exactly what I needed to do at 4:45 in the a.m. or else I would just stare at the ceiling, trying not to cry and wake my dh for the next three hours. It's just hard when you are doing everything right.
Warning, this is prob going to start rambling if I sit here too much longer... but I have a word of advice for anyone who's thinking of TTC. Don't tell any of your friends, or even family. I know it's exciting, but for me, it just adds to the pressure and disappointment. They all keep fricking asking!!!!! I am almost more upset that people are going to be asking me again soon and I can't 1) say yes we are pg or 2) lie to them bc it's too early to tell, but know I am carrying around a beautiful little secret. Now I have to go to a few parties this weekend and dread the questions the whole time.
Okay, rambling now... guess I will try to go back to sleep. Baby hopes for everyone who is trying.