Who'd you allow in the delivery room

[colo1278]

Okay, so I thought it would be sweet to have my mom and MIL in the delivery room with us... my MIL is thrilled bc her other DIL did not want anyone else in the room. However, my mom thinks it is a special moment (okay hours) between a husband and wife and she seems to NOT want to be there. I think if I told her how much I want her in there, she would do it... but I am curious as to what everyone else did.

Here's my reasoning- I am very close with my mom and MIL. Both my birth and my little bro were Csections, so I thought my mom might be interested to see a natural birth if that's the way it plays out. Thirdly, I love my DH, but when he is nervous or uncomfortable, well, I don't know if he'll be all that supportive. Sometimes he just shuts off when he doesn't know what to do.

I was thinking I want my mom and MIL to be in the room, but sort of off to the side and then the moment the baby is born, my DH and I can be alone to share the moment and my moms can go off to the waiting room to tell everyone I'm okay, baby's okay, etc and show off digital photos.

[trinitylove]

it was me, my husband, midwife, and nurse. it was a long painful process and i was so delirious with pain i don't think i would have noticed anyone else there! :lol:
although, i did notice my husband answer his cell phone when it rang, while i was pushing out my daughter and he was holding my hand. i yelled at him "you don't have to answer the phone just cuz it rings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :mad: :finger:

anyway, i'd say invite who you want but lay down some rules first. tell them that if things get too intense or unpleasant, you may want them to leave. tell them if you want them to be quiet or not eat, etc.
i don't think i could have handled an audience there :popcorn: like it was some form of entertainment or something!
i'm not saying they will be like that. just make sure you make your expectations clear so that nobody gets upset unnecessarily.
:)

[amyloo]

Just me, DH, and the applicable medical personnel. I DID NOT want my mother or other family in there. I adore my mom, but had no desire for her to be in there. Not once in all three pgs. I don't think it bothered her until the last one. We basically said, please watch the older two at home and we'll call you when it's time (I was induced.) What did she do but take the kids out of school early and head to the hospital without telling us. That just made me mad, which isn't a good thing to do to a laboring mother. I made them (my parents, I let the kids in for a bit) sit in the waiting room until the baby was born. I just really don't like people seeing me in pain, particularly my parents, who tend to overreact. Blah.

[fit'n'healthy]

I would have my mom and my husband. Husband for obvious reasons, and my mom for moral support since she's been through it. I love my MIL, but don't think I would want her in the room....

[rogmel]

we chose just me and dh......and for us, it was the very best decision for a few reasons.....with baby #1 i was at the hospital for 24 hours(with contractions 2 mins apart that entire time) before baby arrived...that is ALOT of bonding time even with 2 mothers that you love....and there is only one place for a loved one to sleep. just something to consider....my last two...well...i wont even comment as i never tell my birth stories to anyone expecting....but we had to make some really tough decisions and there were some very tenuous moments and i am glad that neither mother was there to include their 2cents or to be in the way.

but.....for many of my friends, who had smooth labors.....it was a great experience for them and their moms!

[MJJR]

JD and mom would have been in with me, but then I had to have a C-section. They were going to let them both into the OR but then we found out there could only be a certain amount of people in there, so mom waited outside and JD was with me.

[Pandora]

I didn't care who was in there... :shrug: I'm not shy about that kind of stuff anyway.

I had an emergency c-section, so no one really ended up being in there with me except my son's father...

[sArAh]

I'd want my husband and my MIL. I don't want to share that moment with my Mom but the reasons behind that are for a whole different thread. :shrug:

[jackie]

Just hubby and me

[SPB131]

I think childbirth is such an incredible experience I would have let any of my family or friends in to witness it, but for my daughter it was my hubby, and my parents and with my son only my hubby b/c he decided to come 3 weeks early and my parents weren't in town yet.

[sandra77]

For the birth of our daughter it was just me and DH and medical staff. MIL was there up until it got a bit too much and I had to get my bits out. Thinking about it now, if I ever get pregnant again I wouldnt mind if my mother was there.

Sandra

[GraceGirl]

I had a last minute c-section, so one personal was allowed...which was hubby. He swore he wouldn't watch because seeing the procedure would gross him out, and then he ended up watching the whole thing, and even gave me a detailed description afterwards! :laugh:

Naa...I was in a room with my husband, my doctor, and a slew of nurses while they were blaring oldies and talking about their weekend. :shrug:

[PerfectAnjail]

You should have whoever you want to be there. I had my mom and the baby's father. If my mom wasn't there, I dont know what I would have done. That's just the relationship we have. It's completely your choice and who you'll be most comfortable with. Remembering, you can be in (very) odd positions and might be completely nude (if you so choose). Not that you're thinking about any of that through the contractions anyway. if you want your hubby in the room but he gets squimish, he can still just hold your hand and look at the monitor and tell you when the contraction is ending. Or he can be the one to go get the nurse if you need one, or get ice chips, or...there's plenty of "busy" work he can do for you to keep his mind occupied.

[fitnesschick]

i think it is important to have only those you feel absolutely comfortable with and also to tell everyone you have invited that you may possible ask them to leave during labor or that they may not actually get a call to the birth. (sometimes during labor you may decide you don't want them around after all)

[liberty]

I had three c-sections so no one was in the room but my husband. For the last two I also had doctors and nurses that I worked with so it was kinda like a party. My mom waitined at home with the kids and came right up once she got the call.
C

[Stephanie21]

I've never really thought about it but I think that my husband will pass out since he can't even watch any of the baby shows. I think I would ask my sister to be there too.

[clsupnorth]

I totally want my mommy there. I'm the only daughter, so she hasn't been present at my SIL's labors. She's a nurse, so I think she'd make a great 'doula' in the room for me. My DH is really hesitant to be there at all as he gets anxiety attacks in hospitals and around anything 'medical'. For years he said there's no way he'd be present, but now that we're actually pregnant, he's saying he'll be in the room, but not at THAT end. So, progress.
But my mommy.... she'll rub my back, sing to me, keep my hair off my face, all that good stuff. I love my mommy. I can't stand my MIL and she is definately not welcome.

I was considering a doula (especially in case my mom can't make it here in time as she lives 16 hrs away)... but if my mom can make it, I'm thinking it might be awkward having her AND the doula there.

One con to the whole 'mom' thing is that it's possible she'll be hard on me. She once stated that the reason she can't work in maternity is because she gets frustrated with how wimpy some of the women are. She keeps thinking to herself "hey, I had 3 all without drugs - suck it up!". So..... I hope that's just cause they're strangers.... with her daughter I think she'll be more empathetic. I hope.

[PerfectAnjail]

You should have anyone in there who will not only be supportive, but whom you wouldn't mind seeing you on all fours with your a$$ in the air and 2 or 3 nurses glaring at your bits AND sticking there hands into you telling you to "PUSH!!) all while you're screaming for mercy. (no, I didn't make that up, unfortunately) Also realizing, however, by this point, you probably: 1) Have no idea who is in the room, 2) Could care less.

[Hoochiemomma]

First baby - just DH, and assorted hospital staff.

Second - my mom joined us. She was absolutely thrilled since she was drugged out for both her birth esperiences. She also recently participated in my nephews birth which had a lot of complications - my brother and SIL needed her support in a big way.

I might mention that anyone that goes into the delivery room should be sparing with any fragrances/aftershave or whatever they use - both times I felt really nauseated by what seemed to be too much of a (normally) good thing.

[Forged]

I let my mom and dad in. My dad was there for support. My mom was there because she was in labor.

[CraveMuscle]

I let my mom and dad in. My dad was there for support. My mom was there because she was in labor.

cute.

[Hoochiemomma]

Yes, Forged is teh cutest:love0001:

[Kat]

My sister only had her hubby there for their first child and the second one she only wanted her hubby but my mom and I came in to say hi and then everything went so fast that we ended up being there too! Not a huge deal but I was the one that almost passed out I just thought it was weird and I can't handle watching the actual labor portions of the TLC baby stories so hopefully I'll be ok when I have children :shrug:
I would probably have my hubby and my mom and maybe my sister and SIL. Not sure about my mans mother since I don't know that she would be comfortable being in there. I think the main reason I am ok with my mom, sister and SIL being there is they are all RN's in the maternity department so I know they will be comfortable, supportive and I would just feel safer with them.

[sweetpea_123]

Actually, at first I didn't want anyone in there, but after awhile, I just didn't care who was in there! I just got delerious from pain. I was like, wow, there are like 12 people in here. :oops:

[KatieB]

I didn't want my family there, as weird as that might be... I had my husband and my best friend, and they entertained me all day so it was great. My parents live about 800 miles away, so we kept in touch on the phone to let them know what was happening, and my in-laws came to the hospital the next morning (my daughter was born at 1 am) to see all of us.

I think if you invite someone to be there and they are not comfortable with it, it will make the experience much more stressful for you -- the negative energy that person will bring with them might just not be worth it -- she can always be waiting right outside to see you and the baby as soon as possible.

Good luck!

[char-dawg]

A couple of comments:

1. I notice that not one of you women mentioned anything about inviting your father in to watch the proceedings. :lol:

2. I work with a group of women here in Japan on the weekends on a fairly regular basis, and one time they were talking about this very issue, only it was limited to "Would you want your husband in the delivery room with you?" Maybe just a cultural difference, but not one of them (out of 6 or 7 women) said yes. Even the ones who had had kids and had had their husbands in there said that if they had to do it over again they wouldn't let them in. The reason being that they felt like their husbands never really looked at them the same way after seeing them in the throes, and the husbands were basically useless in there anyway. :lol:

Obviously, the group opinion here is different, but I just thought it was interesting.

[Ana]

A couple of comments:

1. I notice that not one of you women mentioned anything about inviting your father in to watch the proceedings. :lol:

2. I work with a group of women here in Japan on the weekends on a fairly regular basis, and one time they were talking about this very issue, only it was limited to "Would you want your husband in the delivery room with you?" Maybe just a cultural difference, but not one of them (out of 6 or 7 women) said yes. Even the ones who had had kids and had had their husbands in there said that if they had to do it over again they wouldn't let them in. The reason being that they felt like their husbands never really looked at them the same way after seeing them in the throes, and the husbands were basically useless in there anyway. :lol:

Obviously, the group opinion here is different, but I just thought it was interesting.
I agree with those women, I didn't want my husband there either, but he insisted:shrug:
I guess it's only fair it's his child, but they are right the men in there are usless I'd rather have a couple of good friends with me to be quite honest.

[clsupnorth]

Interesting. My husband doesn't want to be there, but I've been insisting because I don't think he'll gain a full appreciation of what I've had to go through unless he's there and witnesses it.

But it's true - he would be useless. Maybe I should let him stay away.

[fitnesschick]

Interesting. My husband doesn't want to be there, but I've been insisting because I don't think he'll gain a full appreciation of what I've had to go through unless he's there and witnesses it.

But it's true - he would be useless. Maybe I should let him stay away.

my husband did not want to be there and you know, i think maybe because it was my 3rd and 4th babies, but i felt that i needed to honor his comfort level as well. it didn't change him as far as how much he loves his kids or being a dad.

he would've been useless to me so i just had my midwife and a few supportive friends and that was great. he was in the house though so right after the baby was born he was involved :)

[theresak]

I had c-sections with all three, so only hubby could be in the room with me. He loved it, since he could see them moving my organs around. He's sick like that. Had I been able to have natural births, I don't think I would want anyone besides him around anyway. Too personal.

[theresak]

A couple of comments:

1. I notice that not one of you women mentioned anything about inviting your father in to watch the proceedings. :lol:



Hahaha! The thought of my dad being there....too hilarious! He would straight pass out.

[LUVPINK222]

it would only be me and DH. No one else, hell NO!

[fitmonkey]

I had my mom, dh, and sister in for the actual delivery. My inlaws, both parents, and sister were in and out in the mean time. My sister fed me ice chips and my mom and husband took turns coaching and holding my hand.
For me it was the perfect experience.

[Lydia]

it would only be me and DH. No one else, hell NO!


Agreed!! Number one, too personal but also I'm a control freak, and that's a situation I imagine you're not really the one in the driver's seat! I couldn't stand anyone else seeing me in that kind of situation. I told my parents if we have a baby I'll call them and they can come visit in a week, they live a few hrs away, so they'd be staying with us - I think I would want some time alone with Baby and Hubby first.

[txgal]

I would allow my DH and my sister, who is a nurse. I doubt my inlaws or parents would wanna watch that, hehe!

[jrb1980]

it would only be me and DH. No one else, hell NO!

Dido. I love my mom and MIL, but I don't even like when they sleep over.

[desperate_housewife58]

Hmm.. That's a tough one. I know that me personally, I'd want just my hubby there. But, if I was close like that with my M and MIL, then I would probably want them there instead.
Have whoever you'd feel most comfortable with and who will support you the most. They've both had children so they at least know the ropes!

[yummy]

i witnessed my neices birth. aside from the nurses i was the only one who saw everything and witnessed her come out. if i had the apportunity to do it again i would do it in a heart beat. it was the most amazing thing in my life that i ever witnessed.

[Patricia]

I didn't mind all the people in there (mom, step dad, best friend, daughter's dad--yeah, he comes last....he didn't come around and stop acting like a &^^&%$ until my daughter was about a month old...but, that's another story...) but NO ONE listened to me when I asked them NOT to look 'there' as the baby came out. :pimpslap:

[Patricia]

A couple of comments:

1. I notice that not one of you women mentioned anything about inviting your father in to watch the proceedings. :lol:


My stepfather was...he's been my dad since I was 7........

[Christine_99]

My dad was there too. My mom, my dad and my husband at the time. My dad kept going to get me drinks - iced tea, water,etc if he felt too uncomfortable.