Disconnect b/w Stated Goals and Commitment to Them.

Discussion in 'Diet, Nutrition and Supplements' started by Erik, May 24, 2010.

  1. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    How is it that people expect the results that come with high levels of commitment to achieving a goal ... without the high levels of commitment?

    :scratch:

    I see so many lofty goals set and the stated grand importance of achieving them, and then read about alcohol, cheats, deviations, it's hard, I'm really social, but, but, but ...

    And then I'm reminded of how important it is that one gets in shape by [insert date here].

    Acceptance. If you choose the path, you need to accept what is involved to stay on it. If you have to 'find motivation" to stick to the process within your goal, you're probably already on the wrong track.

    Choose the behaviour, choose the consequences.

    Any thoughts on this?

    IS the goal really THAT important? (eating disorders not included)
     
  2. toese

    toese Lovin running in 2 day relays

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    Maybe you are right and their goal isn't all that important because if it were they would be committed. I may be one of those people right now. I was serious about my goals last year and I was committed. This year I do have a goal but it's not as important to me than my goals from last year were.

    This is why I try not to whine and cry about why I'm not at all close to my goals right now. I already know why I'm not close so I shouldn't have to complain about it. I'm just more disappointed and angry with myself about my lack of commitment.
     
  3. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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    I've been guilty of this many times. At this point, I'm accepting that what I want, I am not willing to push for at this moment. I'm ok with that. :lol:
     
  4. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    Exactly. I can apply the same to myself as well. For pretty much the last year, ever since my dad went into the hospital and subsequently passed away, I haven't really 'had it' so to speak. My training has been sporadic, my diet even worse ... with glimmers of hope in both. :lol:

    So I'd get frustrated with a lack of progress or become dissatisfied with my physique, but upon honest reflection would conclude that obviously I'm not THAT disappointed with it, or obviously I don't want to make the big improvements THAT much ... RIGHT NOW. Because if I did, I'd be doing something about it.

    If it was THAT important to me at the time, I'd be doing something to change it and my behaviour and choices would reflect that mindset/thought process.

    But it wasn't. And I accepted that. I chose the behaviour and I accepted the results of that behaviour. A good realization for me since it erased frustration.

    Now however? It's finally important to me again and my training/diet reflects that.
     
  5. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    Exactly. "Choose the behaviour, choose (or accept) the consequences" simply worded differently. :thumb:
     
  6. char-dawg

    char-dawg Mr. Observant

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    Everybody wants to go to heaven; no one wants to die.
     
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  7. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    I will definitely have to incorporate this. Nice.
     
  8. Amy

    Amy Just say no to CANDY!!!

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    You and I have discussed this before, and I say this all the time to people that complain about not being where they want to be physique wise.

    'You must not want it bad enough' They usually look at me like :blink: :angry: But then once I give them a few examples, they can see that I am probably right.

    I can personally relate to this as well. I have taken lots of mini vacations and haven't been 100% on my diet. When I find myself complaining about my jeans being tight, I reminded myself that as much as I say it bothers me, it must not bother me enough...otherwise, I'd be doing something about it. :lol:

    Ask yourself 'At what cost am I willing to achieve this goal?' If you are not willing to log your food, or give up then maybe you adaily cheats, then you are probably not going to reach those goals. (All depends on the specific goal you have)

    Get in the right frame of mind and accept the costs before committing to the goal IMO.
     
  9. Inatic

    Inatic Ya Gotta Wanna! Moderator

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    ya gotta wanna
    :D

    I think sometimes people dont REALLY undestand the commitment.. hense the excuses
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2010
  10. LoveToWorkout

    LoveToWorkout Member

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    Love this and this thread... So true.
     
  11. Original Kloe®

    Original Kloe® *sizzle*

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    K, here's my thoughts...that I've had for eons....

    I'll start with this: Smoking...everyone knows it's nasty and unhealthy and you shouldn't do it. But how many times do you hear a smoker say "I'm trying to quit."...I'd say a good 90%. How many times do you hear a smoker say "I smoke, I'm cool with it, I'm going to keep doing it even though I know it's bad for me." I would say it's "social unacceptable" to be a smoker and to NOT be trying to quit. Soooo... I feel like a lot of smokers, even though they do NOT want to quit, feel like they should have to, or say they are trying to quit.

    Now use this same thing with unfit/overweight people. If we're not in the best shape we could be in, we feel like it's socially unacceptable to NOT be on a "diet". Cause everyone knows if you're obese or unfit you should be exercising and eating right. But the truth is, lots of people just do not want to do it... they don't want to give up junk and exercise, but feel like they HAVE to say they're "trying to lose weight"....even though that's totally not where their mind is at.

    But speaking from experience, when I was humongous and didn't want to lose weight, I would get grilled when I would say "NO, I'm NOT on a diet, and no I do not go to the gym. I'm fine with the way I am!" You wouldn't believe the comments I would get. (Ie: "well you SHOULD be on a diet... you SHOULD want to lose weight...you're unhealthy, blah blah woof woof...")

    So anyway, long story short, I think people feel like they HAVE to be on a diet and exercising even if they don't want to, so they just say they are in hopes of you leaving them alone.
     
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  12. sandi

    sandi IFBB FITNESS PRO!!!!!

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    People want the easy way out.

    They want the 'goals', but they don't want to put in the work.

    That's why all these fad diets and crazy 'exercise' contraptions and most of the crap they sell on QVC are such moneymakers.

    It's the american way: people are fundamentally lazy and they want what they want when they want it.
     
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  13. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    While I can see this in some cases, I don't think this is really applicable to this example.

    People voluntarily saying they want to achieve a certain physique goal, but unwilling to do what it takes to achieve it. The conclusion then is - do you really want to achieve that physique goal? It doesn't really sound like it.

    It's more like an "it'd be nice if I could achieve this, but not if I have to give up this, and this, and this. I don't want it THAT bad." :lol:
     
  14. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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    This is me. Do I want it? Yes. Do I want it bad enough to eat from a structured meal plan day in and day out...nope. :lol3:
     
  15. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    I think this sums it up pretty much perfectly.
     
  16. sandi

    sandi IFBB FITNESS PRO!!!!!

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    Hey.....it's not THEIR fault.

    It's 'Esther's'. Heehee. Just ask Wanda:whistling:

    (starts at 3:15 mark. And sorry about the profanity. If anyone's offended by 4 letter words, probably best not to watch this one)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=4fhxfTtpM9g
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2010
  17. Patricia

    Patricia Well-Known Member

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    I don't think a lot of people realize the true work it takes (and the dedication to scrutinizing everything that goes into their mouths) to get 'abs' or 'ripped' or whatever they say their goals are.

    I think if you put it into simple "You must/must not ______ to reach your goals" then they'd have a clue. Of course, that would be a PITA. :lol:
     
  18. missmarce

    missmarce Go Ducks!

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    For those that you are speaking of, no, I don't think the goal is as important as they are making it out to be. That is not to say that they do not want to achieve it, but its not so much of a priority that they are willing to do whatever it takes to do so.

    Ive run into this issue with every client Ive ever trained. They all want the results, but either their job, family, time, social life is MORE important. They dont want to give up their wine, pack their meals or workout on their own because doing so requires change. And change is hard and uncomfortable for most people.

    Achieving a goal requires hard work, dedication and getting out of one's comfort zone. I think this is especially true of physique transformation. Sometimes it sucks to be the only sober person in the group, pass on the piece of birthday cake, order the chicken salad with no dressing, train when you just dont have the time or energy, etc. Ive been the social outcast and fielded the questions of "Ew, what are you eating" or "Why arent you eating" more times than I care to remember. But for me, transforming my physique is my priority right now, so Im willing to do whatever it takes, regardless of how uncomfortable or hard it may be. For those who have hired you, or any coach for that matter, yet make the excuses, its obvious that a part of them wants to change, but a larger part of them isnt willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

    If I may use myself as an example....When I first graduated college, I wanted to find a job in sales so that I could make tons of money. So, I BS'd my way through interviews and landed a job as an outside sales rep. While the potential to make a good living was there, doing what was required to make that kind of money made me physically ill. I loathed cold calling and just could not bring myself to be pushy and relentless in order to close a deal. At the end of the day, the money just wasnt worth forcing myself to be someone I wasnt, so I quit.

    I think the same is true for the clients who dont stick to the plan. Some part of the process is too uncomfortable or inconvenient, and changing what has been their sense of normalcy for so long isnt worth it. If the end result was really as important as they are saying it is, then the cheats, deviations and excuses wouldnt be happening.
     
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  19. Amy

    Amy Just say no to CANDY!!!

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    I think its good to ask potential clients (or yourself) What are you willing to sacrifice to get there? Willing to skip out on party food? Willing to spend extra time prepping food? Etc. Etc.
     
  20. Scarl3tbutt3rfly

    Scarl3tbutt3rfly Motivated and ready!!

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    This is an interesting topic. I always find it interesting when people have trouble sticking to prep so much. It seems that if you have a plan and have a goal that it wouldn't be so hard to stick to what is required to acheive that goal. I don't have this problem, so I guess I have a hard time understanding. I never cheat on my diet, and look forward to the reward of eating what I want when I am done (it actually keeps me so focused on not cheating, and works for me). I was given a cheat meal this past Friday, and I had a hard time even taking it, I did it though in the hopes it would jump start my metabolism a bit, as I hadn't had a cheat at all for 6 weeks..but even so I made it pretty clean(or more refeed oriented). I was not at all willing to sabatoge all the hard work I've put in the past 6 weeks.
     

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