My fears

Discussion in 'Fitness & Pregnancy' started by dare, Jan 11, 2007.

  1. dare

    dare I'm not fat...I'm pregnant!

    I am terrified of giving birth. I don't think I am so worried about the pain factor, as I am about things like:

    1) Getting an epidural (if I need/want one) - the thought of that needle going into my spine makes my skin crawl. I am so scared of all the could be 'side effects' that are associated with that.....but at the same time, I don't think I could handle a natural birth.

    2) Having a bowel movement when I am pushing. :oops: This bothers me tremendously.

    3) Possibly having a C-section - I still can't even stand to think about this. The thought of having my body cut open while I am still awake makes me want to cry. I am scared that they won't freeze me enough & I will feel everything.

    4) (This is a little vain...but...) I am worried that I will go into labor in the middle of the night, when my hair looks like a birds nest & I have no makeup on & haven't yet showered.....and I have to go to the hospital, with everyone seeing me like that! I'm embarassed to even think about it!

    Anyone else have any fears they would like to share? Maybe we could comfort each other :hug:
  2. mybell

    mybell Working my ass off

    1. I have a phobia of needles. I fought them off for the IV. and yet the spinal didn't bother me at all. I didn't feel it go in, and the effect is almost immedate.

    2. Almost all women have this happen, when you are in labour, pushing, you won't care, you will have other things on your mind at the time. YOu probably won't even notice and no one is going to tell you either.

    3. I had 2 c-sections, they test you before they cut you. Honest to God if they think you can feel anything they will stop. You won't be able to see anything happen. I found talking to the drs. helped ease my nerves. I chatted and joked the whole time, kept my mind off it.

    4. Again, this is like #2, you won't care at the time. And most of the time you do have time to get dressed and get cleaned up. Labour starts but unless the contractions are really close you have time to clean up a little.
    My water broke at 11pm. I was in bed already. I got dressed, combed my hair, washed up a bit, then went in.

    You'll be ok, I think we all have or had these thoughts and concerns.
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2007
  3. colo1278

    colo1278 I'm growing a person!

    From what I have heard, women that are terrified of needles just do not care at that point- anything to make the contractions more bearable. There are breathing techniques to help you bear with the epidural insertion, or look into all the various labor techniques to make a natural birth more easy. But accept the fact you may not be able to do natural, and stressing yourself out with pain is worse, so sometimes it's best to get one and just have a healthy baby in the end.
    While it is totally embarrassing and everyone understands your fear here, take heart in two facts... 1) the beginning stages of labor often stimulate your bowels, so you will prob poop like normal in the bathroom before you go to the hospital and most women aren't really hungry during labor, so even if it's a long labor, you won't have to go again and 2) if you do poop on the table while pushing, you might not even notice it, but the nurses will, and will clean it up discreetly and quickly. Most women do poop a little while pushing baby out. The doc and all the nurses won't even bat an eyelash at it.
    I know it's hard, but try to focus on the "big prize". Because of my vasa previa condition, I HAVE to have a c-section, no choice, or else my baby dies in a matter of minutes. Most c-sections are done for a very major reason- to save you, your baby, your uterus, or all three, so just try to remember that and put that in the forefront of your mind. I have never had any major surgery at all- only my wisdom teeth taken out once while I was on laughing gas and a cyst removed on my wrist under "twilight" anesthesia, so I am with you on the ooky-ness factor of being cut open. I just think to myself, if I don't go on bedrest for a looooong time and have a c-section, I will NEVER get to hold my baby, nurse my baby, watch her take her first steps, take her to preschool, graduate from highschool, get married, etc.
    yes, a little vain, ;) but no worries. One thing I know about docs/nurses is they are very professional and focused on their job while they are at it. You could walk in there looking like death warmed over, with your hair in curlers and a ratty bathrobe, but if you're gushing blood from cutting your finger off, ALL they will focus on is that finger. And a lot of women go into labor at an inconvenient time, so imagine what they are used to seeing. Also, I bet if anything, they make fun of the women who do a full face of makeup and blow out their hair before coming in- what a waste of time! (and possibly dangerous!) Ever watch any of the delivery stories on TV? A lot of those women do themselves up bc they'll be on TV- and everyone of them turns into a sweaty, huffing mess with their hair in a scrunchie after hours of contractions. That's life, that's birth and that's real. You can handle it! :) When you are holding your precious little bundle, you will not give a shit (oops, see # 2) what you look like. And neither will the baby.

    the only thing I am afraid of at this point is going into labor too early and my baby bleeding to death bc of my vasa previa, and/or the baby not dying, but being born so early that they can be saved, but have a lifetime of hardship and struggle ahead of them due to complications.
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2007
  4. fitnesschick

    fitnesschick Member

    the fears you mentioned played a part in me choosing homebirths :)
    have you talked to your caregiver at all about them?
  5. dare

    dare I'm not fat...I'm pregnant!

    :lol3: this made me laugh....good point!
  6. theresak

    theresak Guest

    All the points were well covered - and your fears are natural. This is all a new experiece, things can go so many different ways, and you don't know what to expect. That's the really scary part. It's going to be just fine, don't you worry about any of that.

    Besides, as much as doctors get paid - they can put up with a little poop on their gloved hands! :lol3:
  7. Inatic

    Inatic Ya Gotta Wanna! Moderator

    I've had 5 babies/kidlets.

    YOu have time in MOST cases time to take a shower and clean up. It's totally natural to be a bit worried about birth, especially the first time around. Tho i have to say my last, which was 5.5yrs from the last one, I felt that same sense of "alarm"

    You are incharge of your pain management. I chose to have the epidural. I've had 5 babies, 4 with epidurals and one without/natural. I'd NEVER (and didnt )have another child without an epidural. Natural birth (for me) s*cked and totally took away from the expience for me/us. Not to mention, it's quite painful.

    The epidural didnt hurt at all and as stated, was instant relief. Belief me, I have an unnatural fear of needles too. Two of my births were induced, with the epidural started first. Those were actually the best birth experiences cause i had absolutely no pain and just got to enjoy the entire experience from start to finish.

    Try not to stress about it. Once your holding your beautiful bundle of joy, you forget it all anyway. :)
  8. Ali

    Ali Senior Member

    I would not want to give birth without an epidural. I think it's wonderful, great, really strong...all of that to give birth without one, but as soon as I got to that phase where it hurt...bad...I was done. It even hurt me with the epi b/c they were coming so fast and intense. I didn't not hurt when the baby came out, but I could definitely feel those darn contractions. I am a BIG wimp when it comes to pain, though.

    BM while pushing...never happened to me...they don't let you eat much when you start labor...and that lasts a it was never an issue, but I've heard about it.

    C-section. It happens. You can't control it. Make it clear that you want to avoid it, but if you have to, you have to. They are really, really good at it...don't worry.

    Oh, believe'll have plenty of time to wash up, and fix up, but I doubt you'll want to. Showers are good in those first stages of labor if you're not hooked up to IV, yet. And don't worry about it! You will not care one bit if you are at the point that you don't have time to take a shower.
  9. KatieB

    KatieB Fake It Until You Make It

    You will almost definitely have more than enough time to clean yourself up a bit before you head to the hospital - that one's no biggie.

    The rest everyone else already covered - if you want/need an epidural, your last thought will be on the needle (which you can't even see anyway). And the docs and nurses have literally seen it all - nothing you could do while you are in labor or giving birth will surprise them, and nothing about it will be cause for conversation lol.

    As colo said - keep your eye on the prize.
  10. andi

    andi anyone selling sleep?

    I'm glad I'm not afraid of needles b/c I am for sure getting an epidural but my fear is that it will make me sick, pretty much all painkillers make me throw up. did that happen to anyone? I don't even know much about them yet:oops:
  11. MaiCarInMtl

    MaiCarInMtl Back on the wagon for good

    Maybe it's because I'm not pregnant and will not be for quite a while, but out of all those fears, the biggest one for me would be the BM one. I would be so embarrassed.

    The rest, well, I'll just have to deal with when I get there. I'd rather avoid the c-section if possible, but sometimes you have no choice.
  12. colo1278

    colo1278 I'm growing a person!

    found a poll on about it! :laugh:

    while 71% were worried they would, only 38% actually did have that happen and then only 22% of that 38% found it to be embarrassing, so the odds are with you all that you won't and if you do, the nurses obviously take care of it discreetly or something else (the baby maybe?) is distracting everyone.
  13. FabulouslyFit

    FabulouslyFit Member


    I had all of the same fears before I gave birth to my daughter.

    1. I was terrified of a needle going in my spine ! My baby was born sunny side up and that gave me major back pain along with the contractions. Lol, I actually was begging for the epidoral ! So when the needle was going in... it was all about mind over matter. I closed my eyes and imagined that I was somewhere else. 1 second later = done & no more pain. :)

    2. I was worried about having a bm while pushing too ! I am the biggest nerd, so before hand I apologized to the nurses just in case. They laughed and said not to worry that it happens all the time. It didn't happen. I'm even more freaked out about it happening this time becouse I know 2 nurses that work in the maternity unit where I'll be delivering ! Oh my.

    3. C section ! Yikes ! I'm afraid of that as well.

    4. I put make up on. Biggest mistake ever ! In all of my pics, my face looks like camo ! Everything rubbed off here and there. This time, I'm not wearing any make up.
  14. dewaite

    dewaite Finding my way back

    I to had very similiar fears as you both times with my kids.
    I recall a saying my mom used to say to me over & over again, "Listen honey when those pains start kicking in, & you enter the hosipital you also leave your dignity at the door" she also told me to take a good look around your place before you leave, because it is ALL about to change forever!!!!"
  15. KatieB

    KatieB Fake It Until You Make It


    What a perfect piece of advice. :D Right after DD was born, I didn't even care that one of the nurses had to bring me into the bathroom to pee lol.
  16. JK333

    JK333 On the Road to "Thunderbilt"


    I had a shot of Demoral and it made me extremely nauseated however the epidural I was given later didn't make me feel sick at all - it actually helped me rest a little bit.
  17. theresak

    theresak Guest

    That reminds mother wanted to be a nun when she was young. But apparently she was told she would need to have a physical and she was scared to be naked in front of a doctor. So instead, she married my dad - had 11 kids! She said she got over that real quick once the reality that the entire hospital would get a peek at her business during labor. :funny:
  18. Tina

    Tina Well-Known Member

    My biggest fear is the pain. And maybe screeming really really loud.

    I'm also afraid of not getting to the hospital in time and having the baby in the car!:shock:
  19. homeschoolmom

    homeschoolmom Well-Known Member

    Your fears are perfectly normal. Educating yourself is the best cure for fear. Learn everything you can about the process so that you know what to expect.

    Here's my experience after 4 kids. I hope this helps!:hug:

    1. The epidural I swore I would never have, I was begging for when labor kicked in really hard. I'm pretty sure I told at least one anesthesiologist that I loved him! :funny: For some reason DH didn't think it was so funny!:lol3:

    2. You *may* poop on the table. Most of the time, the doctors and nurses are really sensitive about it and you have no clue that you've even done it! The doctors are so unfazed by it because it happens all the time. I have to say that with one of my kids I was aware that I had done a little bit of the dreaded deed on the table and I cursed the bran muffin I had consumed that morning. However, cursing the bran muffin lightened the mood up and everyone(including myself) was laughing over it. You'll have to develop a sense of humor over bodily functions at some point especially if you breastfeed or have boys. Dignity goes out the window. I won't even tell you the fountain of pee story!:lol3: :sad:

    3. No c -sections here so I can't help you with this one.

    4. When you are in the throes of labor you won't care about how you look. Labor/delivery is like a very long intense workout. You're working so hard that you just don't care how you look. You just want to get the job done. And when the job is done and you hold your crying newborn baby in your arms the first time, you'll reallize no amount of make up or hairspray could make that moment any more beautiful than it already is.

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