Newly widowed... Anyone like me?

Discussion in 'Board Issues and Announcements' started by liz jennings, Oct 25, 2013.

  1. liz jennings

    liz jennings New Member

    I've been on the lbc boards before but don't often post...

    I'll try to keep this short, as I do not want to burden anyone...

    Anyway... My husband died on October 8. He was 45. He died of a massive infection, septic shock.

    We were both workout nuts. We'd actually even met in the gym. We were workout partners. He's the one who ended up getting me interested in competing. We did everything together.

    It's only been a couple weeks, so my grieving is still very new to me. I've tried to continue eating healthfully and am still making it to the gym. My lifts have actually been decent; I believe that is because his spirit is still with me, especially in the gym. It's the only place I can go right now that makes me feel "good" (as good as one can get anyway). I'm keeping at it because I know that Jeff would not want me to stop; I continue this process as a way of honoring him and also keeping myself sane.

    My question is this: are there any other widows out there who get where I'm coming from? I sure could use some help. I've found some widow support groups online, and they are great, but I was just searching for someone who might also understand how important working out was to both Jeff and me.

    Thank you for reading this.
  2. Kristyjanz

    Kristyjanz New Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Look up "one fit widow" on Facebook. I believe she also runs a private page for women who are widowed and into health and fitness.
  3. liz jennings

    liz jennings New Member

    Thank you so much kristy. I will look that up right now.
  4. Emma

    Emma Member

    Oh Liz, I'm so sorry to read that.

    My best friend lost her father 10 years ago this month, leaving her mother widowed suddenly (it was a car accident). We coped by getting on with things and honoured him but not putting our lives on hold. Every time I do something he would have appreciated, even after all this time, I pause for a moment to reflect and think of him smiling and that twinkle in his eye. Sometimes my friend will say "Dad would have loved that" and we remember him.

    I'm sorry you lost him so young, I don't have the words to make it better, I hope you can find some groups that help.
  5. Fay

    Fay Well-Known Member

    Hi Liz. I am sorry about your loss. I was going to suggest that you look up One Fit Widow on FB but someone beat me to it! ;) I follow her page and she has such a great attitude. I really think it might be of help to you. And keep in touch here! You don't need to walk this path alone. We all need somebody sometimes. :)
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2013
  6. Miss Lizzy

    Miss Lizzy Member

    Hi Liz,

    I actually saw this post on Siouxcountry (I love that site but have never posted anything on there) I'm so very sorry for your loss. I have a friend who lost her husband to an aggressive cancer (3 months from diagnosis to passing) they had 6 children and he was only 43. Only reason I mention this is that although their common interest was something entirely different to health and fitness, she continued to do all the things they usually found happiness in and I believe it helped her through a very tough time. I hope you can find a group or even another person who has shared a similar experience you can connect with.
  7. Inatic

    Inatic Ya Gotta Wanna! Moderator

    Im sorry for you loss :hug: I hope the reference to 'one fit widow' is a good fit for you.
  8. Amy1984

    Amy1984 Member

    Hi Liz. I am so sorry for your loss. Though I am not a widow, I lost my dad a few years ago, and I understand how empty and numb losing someone close to you can feel. When my dad past away, I had just turned 25 years old, and it lit a fire inside of me and I started running -- At that time the most I had ever run was 2 miles, but I think I took everything I was feeling at that time and focused all that energy on running my first half marathon. From there I not only ran my first half, but 4 more and 3 full marathons.
    I think the range of emotions people can go through after losing someone they love can be difficult to comprehend. I remember I would go from feeling sad to angry, and then to regretting certain things, back to sad. Some days I remember wondering if I would ever laugh or feel happy again. It was such a roller coaster. If you can find a way to channel all those emotions you are feeling into something that helps you release them and/or make sense of them that might definitely helped me.

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